I Dare You Thrill Seekers to Get High on Thin Air
It has the potential to give you the awakening to your life’s purpose, or whatever.
As I drift into a peaceful trance up here in the white soft fluffy clouds, I hear the sound of my heart beating, and it awakens me from my reverie. It would be so nice if my heart could stop beating, so I could enjoy the complete serenity of heaven. As I gasp for air, it seems that the more energy I expend inhaling, the less oxygen I get. For a moment, I considered lying down on the glacier and slowly drifting into death.
When you ask people why they climb, many give a short answer. It’s fun.
It’s not fun; it’s painful. But, it is a place where you learn to cope with pain and discomfort.
So why do it?
From the moment I decide to go on a trip to a few months after returning home, I experience a rollercoaster ride of emotions. As I start my training days, I am hopeful and enthusiastic, having gone from being dreary, stuck in the moment, tired of my work-home routine, to a — hell yeah, let’s go attitude. I now have a spark.
I don’t live near mountains, and climbing is not my career. It’s a hobby I accidentally fell into many years back when I first moved to the US. I summited some impressive peaks like Denali, Cotopaxi, Mt Rainier, Kilimanjaro, but I don’t climb to brag. I climb because I suffer from dissociation and I have a T- type personality.
However, reaching the top serves as motivation during the year of training, always on my mind to push me to get stronger and stay focused and committed. To help me push through, I repeatedly whisper to myself: Do you want to die all alone and cold, you lazy asshole? Not a nice mantra, but it works for me.
It’s weird that the very thing my soul does not care about my muscles fucking love. My mind knows the supernatural thrill begins when the physical training ends.
My team and I will not go to the summit of Everest. We are not that nuts or rich. Our goal is to reach Camp 2 at 6.400 m or 21.300 ft above sea level.
Journey begins with a terrifying twist through the air
Here I am. I made it through months of training while working two jobs to save money for this trip. I arrive in Kathmandu supercharged, grinning, ear to ear. It’s climbing season in the Himalayas.
The hotels, restaurants, and streets are crawling with climbers from all over the world. The atmosphere is ecstatic, air filled with hope and excitement.
Most people here are super impressive, fun, and positive. But, I wonder if I am in the right place and if I am ready mentally. So, I spend every hour tossing between shit yeah to hell no.
The flight from Kathmandu to Lukla is just as the survivors report. Fucking terrifying. There are a million reasons why Lukla is on the list as one of the top 10 most dangerous airports in the world.
Sitting in the small metal tube of human sardines, I try to focus on the breathtaking scenery of the highest peaks in the world repeating the only prayer I know.
As the rusty tin so-called plane gets hit by a strong gust of wind and we fly upside down for a few seconds, my body gets filled with excitement! Yes! My T- type personality thrives on this rollercoaster, physically and metaphorically. Wahooooo, I might die today. But, bring it on faith; I am ready for psychological combat.
Meditative trekking to Everest Base Camp
I prefer not to talk much during the trek unless we change routes or anticipate weather problems. Instead, I stay inside my head, riding on the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions for hours on end.
Tom, my teammate and the chatty one in the group, entertains everyone in the village every evening, but more importantly, he translates the smiles, head nods, tears of joy, and awkward embrace I give to Sherpas into spoken words of affection, love, and respect.
Sherpas, also known as “guardian angels” of the Himalayas, are elite climbers and porters. Without their hard work and human kindness, many would not stand a chance in the Himalayas. Sherpas risk their own lives to save the lives of people they have never met before; they are selfless and extraordinary.
Halfway to Everest Base Camp, we take a two-day break from trekking to climb Kala Patthar for sunrise; the elevation change to 18,209 ft / 5,550 m will help us acclimate to the altitude.
A few hours after taking off at midnight, I am beginning to question my sanity. It’s cold, I’m tired, my legs hurt, and I want to go back down to chill with the intelligent people who declined the opportunity to suffer through this torture.
With the clouds moving into and out of my path, I change my thoughts from my life is so cool to it sucks.
At the top of Kala Patthar, we get rewarded with an unrestricted clear view of her majesty, The Everest, and other impressive 8000m peaks.
By day eight of trekking, I began to wonder if I would ever be ready to return to my real life. The comfortable yet simple lodgings gave me a glimpse of a different existence. Away from the pressures and demands of modern life, I feel free from vanity and burden to style my hair or wear make-up.
This soil we step on and the air we breathe manifests the essence of Tibetan Buddhism. Even tho I have no idea what spirituality means to me, my heart and soul feel nourished and calm — a complete turnaround from just twelve days ago when I took my first step on this holly ground.
At Everest Base Camp, we reunite with most of all the climbers we saw in passing or in villages in days past. However, not everyone here feels the same way. My team and I feel super accomplished just by making it here. We walk around cheerful and at ease. Others are super serious climbers who rushed through the process of soul-changing during trekking here and only have one goal in mind- reach the top of the world.
After a few days of camping here, meeting some friends and some terrible people, our window of opportunity opened up for the climb of my and my team members’ lifetime.
It’s the final countdown (dana-naa-nuhh…dana-na-nuuuh)
Khumbu Icefall to Camp l goes smoothly, and we come back down in one piece. This accomplishment is no big deal for some people here, but I ended up staying up all night writing endless pages in my journal. My experience felt terrifying at times, beautiful and fucking stupid.
My team and I decided to skip the next window of opportunity for the final high altitude climb and the one that would mark our highest achievement in our mountaineering career to stay in the Basecamp just a little longer. Unfortunately for some, we used these few extra days to annoy some seriously accomplished Sherpa and Western climbers. Starstruck, we followed them around like paparazzi.
I think they were relieved when they realized that our last 24 hrs with them were here.
Climbing on ice turns everyone into vampires because, to climb on frozen solid glaciers, you gotta take off at midnight. So we do.
The fact that this end goal is called a Camp makes it sound like a walk in the park. It is anything but.
It was the biggest struggle and a fight for me. I had no time to think spiritually or form any kind of deep thoughts. All I was thinking was, wow, people are crazy to do this, and I am a moron too. It’s a minefield up here.
I was so physically and mentally exhausted when I came down I no longer even knew why I was here.
Did I come here for something?
If you can climb a mountain, you can do anything. While not technically true, reaching the top of a mountain (any mountain) is an impressive physical, mental, and emotional accomplishment. And it is motivating. It reminds me I can accomplish important things with my life if I dream big and put in the work.
Go climb a mountain. You’ll love it.
